Moving Out

There are somethings that are too personal to post on Facebook.  Things that should be written about, but not for the viewing public.

Big moved out today.

Was it time?  Of course.  He has planned, saved money, and now he doing what everyone does when it is time to leave the nest.

He called me while I was pulling into the hotel.  I'm out of town you see.  I will be for the next three weeks.  He called to let me know he had moved the majority of his things and just called to ask about some vinyl he wanted and whether or not he could have them.

So I let him have Frampton Comes Alive, but I wouldn't part with my Styx albums.

Then I started to cry.

For the first time.

Through this whole process I have been upbeat, excited, and ready to refurbish his room, yet today I teared up.

Why?

Well for one, I'm not there.  I should be.  I wouldn't really be much help, but I could stand in the doorway of his bedroom with my hands on my hips and look stern while he tried to leave with something he shouldn't.

I could try being depressed because he'll be on his own.  But he won't.  He's moving in with his partner.  A handsome, charming young man that I will refer to as Axl  Rose.  ...for reasons he will understand.  This young man thinks my big bear hung the moon and loves him to distraction.

For this I am thankful.

When Big asked for new sheets as a housewarming I teared up again.

We chatted about this and that and then he told me he loved me and we hung up the phone.

Then I broke down.  Right there in my car in the parking lot of the Embassy Suites.  I cried that big, ugly, nasty cry that caused snot to fling and eyes to redden.

So when get back home, Little will be in his sophomore dorm room, Big will be in his new apartment, and Big Daddy and I will listen to the echo of empty rooms.

I hear them in my head already.

I think I'll pour a glass of wine and break down again.