The Wrong Thong

Here comes that cute little Lorna girl walking down the hall.

Her with her thin shapely legs and all.

Christ.

I really want to hate her, but unfortunately she’s one of ‘those’ people who is sweet, kind, and gracious to everyone therefore making it impossible to hate her simply on the grounds that she’s gorgeous.

That pisses me off. I’d really love to hate her.

You see, I’ve always wanted slender shapely legs.

Ain’t gonna happen.

Because...I have an hour glass figure.

Now, it’s more the hour glass from the wicked witch’s castle in the Wizard of Oz than let’s say an egg timer. And time has run out seeings how all the sand has fallen to the bottom.

But it is an hour glass nonetheless.

That being said, I’ve never lost an ounce of fat from my thighs.

I carry my weight in my hips, butt, and legs. So when it comes off, (and it is coming off currently thank you very much for asking) it’s noticeable first in my face, waist and to lesser extent, the boobs.

My knees still blubbereth over.

I’m bringing this up, because I guaran-damn-ty that Missy there down the hall wears a thong.

I spend a lot of time these days folding and re-hanging women’s unmentionables and I have had ample time to study, peruse, and lust after pretty under things.

Mostly thongs.

There are thongs with lace and ribbons and shiny crystal hearts where the dental floss meets the waist band.

A lot of women wear these and swear they are the most comfortable inventions ever created by man. (And I assure you a man had to have come up with this idea.)

I tried a thong.

Once.

I burned it in the wood stove less than 30 minutes later.

I have spent the majority of my life picking my drawers out of my crack. I see no reason to put a strip of fabric up my ass on purpose.

That doesn’t mean though I trot around in high-waisted 'Granny Panties'.

Ew.

I’m more of a bikini/hip hugger kinda gal.

That should satisfy ya’ll’s curiosity. I know there has been considerable interest in what kind of drawers I wear. I daresay it’s been a subject of great debate.

…this blog is called ‘Sugar Britches’ after all.