Fiber
So Big Daddy and I were trekking through Country Mart.
It's a jim dandy of grocery store down Hollister way. After we visited with Prissy last Saturday, we braved the hellish winds and came down from Point Lookout to check out their wares.
Yes. Yes it is an exciting adventure for us to mindlessly aim through a grocery store.
A crazy life I lead, I know.
After a spell, we stopped in the bread aisle for me to read labels.
Now don't get your bowels in an uproar thinking I'm a good Mom.
I most certainly am not.
Big and Little are fed a steady diet of fats, preservatives, and sugar.
OK, I do sprinkle liberally with vegetables and fruits and protein.
I digress...
So I let my boys eat junk, but one thing I never buy is white bread. As a daughter of a diabetic, the one lesson I retrained from my youth is that white flour is nothing but pure sugar.
I'd rather give them sugar from a yummier place...like the jelly that goes on the peanut butter that goes on the bread.
In fact I remember vividly Big coming home from first grade and when I asked him what he bought for lunch that day, he told me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
I asked him why in the world he would spend his lunch money on that, when I could make him one at home for free.
He told me it was because they use 'fresh' bread at school.
...white bread.
So I read labels. I make sure they it's not just whole wheat, but 100% whole grains. Ya gotta get the fiber.
So Big Daddy patiently waits for me to read the bread and then we move on. As I glance across the aisle, I notice the crackers. There is now a brand of crackers that has added fiber.
Lookit! Those crackers have added fiber. Those are poo crackers.
Could you say that a little louder so the rest of the store can hear that?
Why? That's what they are. Eat a handful of those and tell me they aren't poo crackers.
Big Daddy walks off. He does that often when accompanying me places.
Further down the aisle I come across the peanut butter. I picked up a pack of snack size PB packages and thought that would be a great way to pass off carrots as a treat in the lunch sacks. They can dip them in the PB.
I read the back of the label.
There's no fiber in peanut butter, Sugar.
Course not. Then it would be poo-nut butter.
He left the store.
1 comment:
I'd shop with you anytime for Poo Crackers, Sugar! On the topic of spousal embarrassment, my hubby likes to stop in the middle of grocery store aisles and dance with me if he likes the Muzak. Tell your hubby it could be worse.
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