The Heart of the Matter

Thank you for calling Wal-Mart. How can I help you?

This is Cherie. I won’t be in tonight. I can’t get out of my driveway. (Click)

Thank you for calling Wal-Mart. How can I help you?

Yeah, this is Lavonne. Honey, I can’t come in tonight. My road is iced over. (Click)

Thank you for calling Wal-Mart. How can I help you?

This is Marianne. There is no way I’m getting out in this stuff.

But, you live across the street!

Oh. Then I’m sick. I won’t be in. (Click)

Thank you for calling Wal-Mart. How can…(SLAM!)

Sugar! Oh thank God you are here. Everyone else has called in tonight.

So I gather.

By the way, I don’t think we’ve officially met. I mean I’ve seen you around and all. Anyway, I’m Bonnie. I’m the infants’ department manager.

Glad to meet you. I only wish it could be under happier circumstances.

Well, you’re on your own. You’ll have to man the phones tonight and cover all five departments.

Great!

If folks ask, we are out of: ice melt, rock salt, sleds, cheap cat litter, shovels, kerosene, and generators.

Good God! What’s left to buy?

Groceries. People have gone crazy today buying groceries.

But, that means we’re also out of bread, milk, eggs, and bottled water.

Exactly.

So why are we still even open?

(Blank Stare) Why tomorrow’s Valentine’s Day.

…of course.