Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Bears in Roseland

On this new year's morning, before bowl games commence, I participate in another staple of this holiday.

The Rose Parade.

My love of a good parade is widely known. But I rarely sit and watch a televised parade. It's like a sporting event. Some things are just better witnessed live. I tend to have it on while I piddle around my kitchen. I stop to watch if something peaks my interest.

Well then, picture my interest peaked.

Imagine my excitement when I look up from the waffle batter to see my alma mater, my own beloved Missouri State University Bruin Pride band opening the show!

Right there in high-def, (as Al Roker continually reminded us. And not that I have high-definition television, but I'm sure it would be just as wondrous as he suggests) in all their maroon and white glory, the drum line with their plumes flying in the warm Pasadena winds, in front of a colorful set built especially for the occasion.

My excitement knows no bounds!

Imagine also then, my profound disappointment when they proceed to participate in the cheesiest piece of schmaltz I have ever witnessed.

Here I need to pause to tell you. I love musical theater.

I know. I know. You thought I was trendy. Cutting edge, even.

Sorry to disappoint. The truth is I'm a really big nerd.

...I hope this doesn't destroy the illusion some of you have of me.

So, we know I love a good stage show, but this opening number was cringe-worthy. I stood ringing my hands as the syrup warmed in the microwave. My poor Bears. What an opportunity to showcase their ample talents. Instead, a musical attempt (complete with costumed singers and dancers) to show cultural diversity and harmony only managed to display disingenuous smiles and dump an entire box of melted Velveeta all over the noble trombones.

I was shattered.

As I lamented squandered opportunity over coffee...


There they were again!

My Bears, resplendent one and all, leading the parade with -76 trombones.


Hope restored.

Happy Happy 2008.

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