In a Panic

I overslept this morning.

I just love that feeling of panic you get when you immediately know you’ve slept through the alarm. It’s a feeling that creeps through the fog in your brain. You aren’t awake yet, but you’re not asleep. Your body knows and responds in the following way.

You leap out of bed cursing. My favorite is chanting “Ohshit, Ohshit, Ohshit” over and over again.

Every morning you get up and do the same thing. Pee, take shower, brush teeth… You dress and get out the door and can scarcely distinguish one morning from the rest. On these mornings however, you stand confused at the mirror wildly staring at yourself wondering what in the world to do first.

Teeth, teeth, I’ll brush my teeth!

Brilliant.

Next? C’mon, C’mon.

Shower? Out of the question-no time. Slap on some deodorant.

Hair? Ah, screw it.

Clothes…thank God it’s casual day. Jeans and Tee.

Make-up? Throw it in the tote and do it at work.

Kiss Big Daddy on the ear. (In your haste, that’s as close to the face as you can manage)

Out the door in ten minutes.

At work…on time, thank you very much.

“Sugar, you look great! What did you do different?”

“Well, I didn’t bathe, I have on no make-up and I have ‘FF’ hair.”

...and I’ve still gotta pee.