Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Hey, Granny.

How you doin', Babe,

I'm great, Granny, how are you? 

Oh, I'm better.  Just trying to stay cool.

Are you succeeding? 

Well, I got the winder fans agoin'.  I guess I'll be OK.  I just ask the good Lord to give me strength and so far he's come through.  How's yer Mommy?

She was asleep in her chair today, so I just dropped off her smokes and treats and took off.

You know yer Mommy's cousins are in town this weekend.  I wish they'd stop and see her but I don't think they will.

It's just as well, Honey.  It would only embarrass her if she realized.

I know it.  Didn't you have a birthday?

You know I did, you rotten thing.  You give me grief about it every time I call.

I know it.   You've almost caught up to yer old Granny.

I have not!  I'm going swat you, Old Gal!

You come on!  I'd love to see you try.  But I don't know if I could take you. I've lost a lot of weight you know.

Have ya?

I'm down to 180.  You wouldn't recognize Granny.  I've always been so big.

Honey, you're only 5 foot tall.  

I know it, but I'll swan there's not that much left of me.  I ain't got strength for nothing more than watching television.

Did you watch the Olympics?

Nah, I don't care about any of that sports stuff.

If it ain't wrestling, you ain't watching?

You know I don't even watch my soap operas anymore.

You're just storyin' now!

I'm not either.  When I was in the hospital this past winter with the 'noomonie' I got my fill and haven't turned 'em on since.

Well, what are you watching?

Jerry Springer.

Oh God have mercy, Granny!  What are you watching that crap for?  There's not a bit of truth in it.

Now, Honey I know better.  Most of those girls have no 'eye-dee' who the father of their baby is and that just ain't right!

You're better off watching the Olympics.  They're going to be held in Canada in two years.

Honey, you know Granny may not be around in two years.

If you are, you wanna go?

Tee Hee!  You bet, Babe.  You and me'll finally get to go to Canada


MoxieMamaKC said...

I love your Granny stories. They are so funny! I had 2 sassy grannies and your posts remind me of them!

Sugar Britches said...

...and they are all true. She is a pip!